Grief & The Healing Power of Writing
Writing helps us lighten our emotional load when we’re holding the weight of grief.
You don’t have to be a prolific writer or devotee of journaling. Putting pen to paper is transformative in and of itself. Here are some benefits to writing when we’re grieving:
1. Processing Emotions
Writing allows us to express and process complex emotions that may feel overwhelming or hard to verbally articulate in conversation. Grief usually brings up a range of emotions—sadness, anger, confusion, guilt, even regret—and writing provides a safe space to explore and release these emotions without judgment (plus, no one will read it besides you). Journaling or writing letters (letters you’ll never send) can help clarify your thoughts, serving as an “emptying” practice, and offer a sense of emotional release.
2. Externalizing Pain
Putting our felt grief into written word can externalize the pain, giving us a way to “talk” about it when it feels hard, or even if it feels like no one around us can fully understand what we’re going through. Writing through grief also offers us a way of confronting the emotion without being consumed by it.
3. Creating Meaning
Writing about what we’ve lost can help to foster finding meaning from of loss. This might involve writing stories, memories, or even poems about what or who we’ve lost. Writing can transform grief from feeling unbearable and unfair into a sense of meaning and gratitude over time. It’s essential to note: this isn’t a quick or overnight process; it’s a journey that takes time.
4. Tracking Progress
Grief isn’t linear! Though, writing can serve as a way to track our emotional and psychological processes and progress over time. Looking back on earlier entries might reveal how feelings have shifted and evolved, showing signs of healing and growth. This can be validating when it feels like healing isn’t happening at the rate we want it to or hoped for.
5. Providing a Sense of Control
Grief often feels so out of our control, especially when it’s sudden or unexpected. Writing can give us back a sense of agency, as it’s something we can choose to do on our own terms. Writing may also provide structure in a time when everything feels chaotic, disoriented, or disorganized.
6. Connecting with Others
Some people find it healing to share their grief in writing, whether through personal blogs, social media posts, or letters to friends or family. This form of sharing can invite support, empathy, and connection with others who might be experiencing similar emotions. It might also foster deeper understanding between ourselves and those who do not feel the loss as we do. If you do choose to share your written expression of grief, I recommend being mindful and discerning of who you share with, as the people around us often have many different reactions and responses to loss that differ from our own.
7. Releasing Unspoken Thoughts
Sometimes, there are things we wish we could have said to the person or experience we’ve lost. Writing allows for those words to be said, even if they’re never outwardly heard. Writing letters to a loved one or about an experience lost, voicing what we wish we had known or said or did differently before the loss, can be cathartic and often deeply healing—releasing us from the weight of unspoken words.
Tips for Writing through Grief:
Start small: If writing feels overwhelming, start with short journal entries or lists of feelings, memories, or even things you wish you could say.
Write without self-judgment: Let your thoughts flow freely. There are no wrong or right ways to express grief.
Be patient with yourself: Remember, you don’t have to be Shakespeare or Jane Austen. Grief writing doesn’t need to make sense or be polished. It’s about the process, not the product.
Christine Slomski is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Mesa, Arizona. Her practice, Calm Hearts Counseling, specializes in treating anxiety, trauma, grief & loss, chronic illness, reproductive trauma & grief (infertility, pregnancy losses), and women’s mental health.
Hi, I’m Christine Slomski, a Licensed Professional Counselor, EMDR Therapist, EFT Tapping Practitioner & Reproductive Trauma & Grief Specialist in Mesa, Arizona. I’m here to help you find your way back to Calm.
My work supports healing from within, using a Mind, Heart, Body, and Spirit model. I’m professionally and personally qualified to walk with you through the hard places, believing you already have within you the components to heal, transform, and thrive.
With heart,
Christine